I.
i've been considering whether i watched the sixth sense too young / or if everyone else was too old / i've been considering / with the certainty of a dream / the difference between torture porn / & when i tell someone what storms do / & disease / & they say this story needs development / needs a point / & i say / they rage, don't they / & what is the point / of whether i was too young / & wasn't he / the boy, i mean / we are such good actors / well yes, that's the point / children are too young to be / a child / at least the kind i was / well, that movie isn't porn / they don't show / so much / except if you were the kind of child / that it stripped naked / & whittled down / to a point
II.
the first chapter of jane eyre never happened to me / just the second / what happened i did to myself / any room can be red / is psychosis nothing / but locking yourself in / the doctors pressed my mother / surely some assault / however small / status: victim / of nothing / but too much imagination / i read that book young / and thought / if i can grow up / & there has to be a man / perhaps it could be a man like that / but i've been considering / with the intimacy of trains passing / whether i got it all wrong / whether i'm the one / with ghosts in the attic
~~
Johanna is a Pushcart-nominated poet from Charlottesville, VA whose writing generally features lesbianism, God, disability, and/or various troubled pasts. Find more at johannapoet.com or on Instagram @johannahallwrites.
